Testimonies   When I was young, I wondered what a real family would be like. I asked this question because my mother suffered from manic depression. Abusive both mentally and physically, unable to show love, my mother was bitter and she would pass this on to me. This pattern of physical abuse would follow me for years to come. As a child, many times questioning God. Why would He allow my mother to hurt me? I remember her consoling me after a black-out beating and say, I love you. I began to believe love was real physical pain. When I was 9 a neighbour invited me to church. By this time, I was sure God could not save me, but I went a few times and listened to how Jesus gave His life for me. I felt alone and lost, it could not possibly be true. I didn't go anymore. How could God love me, my mother didn't? Many things would follow me through my youth and into adulthood. Looking for love in all the wrong places, addiction to drugs dulled the pain and I wouldn't have to think about the emptiness inside. Destructive behavior bad decisions, one after another, this was my life cycle. I built walls around me and drugs were my escape. I began selling drugs at 16 and would continue until my 30s. Trapped in this cyclical lifestyle, I was soon to be trapped in prison, one with real bars. This prison had no escape. There I heard the same story that I'd heard as a young girl. Jesus loved me and died for my sins. In the midst of bondage I found Jesus Christ. I was taught through the PAL program. I've learned why I continued doing the things I'd done. I was taught the truths of the Bible. When I was released from Newport, Nov 4, 2004, I was changed. I instead went to a halfway house and learned humility. I rode a city bus for the first time and I worked for what I needed. I was given a mentor who became a spiritual mother and showed me love like I'd not known. But I would go on to make more mistakes and return to my toxic vomit. I was blessed to learn, during this time what mercy and grace from God really meant. I was given another chance. I went to my spiritual mother, broken and hurting needing but not realizing that God had given me what I needed, a family. Today, my children and I truly know what a real family is like, full of love, understanding, trust and encouragement. God gave me the mother and father I didn¹t have as a child. But as a child of God, I received my heavenly Father and He set me in a real family. God blesses us by placing different people, in different seasons, to show and give us what we need. God is our redeemer, the restorer of our losses. He is Lord of all, even the days of our past. I gave God my past and He made up all I lost, He filled the empty place in my heart, I am indeed a Miracle of Mercy. In His service, Penny Green